tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63627979765947212812012-01-06T05:14:21.320-08:00Owning a Human Writer since 2002Lynn Viehlnoreply@blogger.comBlogger21100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6362797976594721281.post-75015916006026666632008-06-16T05:41:00.000-07:002008-06-16T05:49:05.437-07:00A few years ago I penned this list of my New Year's Resolutions. We cats are somewhat better than humans at keeping the promises we make, but I'm still having trouble with #3 (why doesn't she give me treats every time she enters the kitchen? Is there anything more important to do in there than that? I think not.)<br /><br />1. I will not catch lizards. If I do, I will not eviserate them on my human's bed pillow.<br /><br />2. I will not cough up hair balls on my human's prized 1940 Dresden fan quilt. <br /><br />3. When my human enters the kitchen, it is not always to get me Pounce treats. I will be understanding about this.<br /><br />4. I will kiss my human <i>before</i> I wash my butt. <br /><br />5. I will not grab my brother in a stranglehold and pretend to tear out his throat in front of my human's guests.<br /><br />6. When I have gas, I will be polite and go fart in the other room.<br /><br />7. I will not lie in the litter box pretending I am Simba Master of All He Surveys while my brothers are waiting to use it.<br /><br />8. The flat cans with the smiling fish on them are <i>not</i> for me. <br /><br />9. I will not knock over and rearrange the large stacks of paper my human produces to make a bed for myself.<br /><br />10. I will not sit and stare at my human when she sits in the bathtub, no matter how wierd I think she looks with those tea bags and that mayonnaise on her face.<br /><br />11. I will stop plotting to get rid of the short humans.<br /><br />12. I will stop trying to squeeze between the balcony railings to catch dragonflies. I will remember if I miss it's a three story drop into a canal (thank heavens, we moved. Now I must stop trying to dart outside through the garage, and remember that there are bears, foxes and coyote in the woods on the north side of the property.)<br /><br />13. Whatever my human drinks in those mugs is too hot and not for me.<br /><br />14. I will not glare, hiss, or growl at the guests who smell like dog. I will understand some humans are simply not worthy of feline ownership.<br /><br />and finally --<br /><br />15. I will not sneak into the closet, climb into the big box and chew off the corners of my human's author copies.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6362797976594721281-7501591600602666663?l=tosaynothingofthecat.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lynn Viehlnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6362797976594721281.post-54291456793035498782008-06-14T05:05:00.000-07:002008-06-14T05:21:05.837-07:00How should I start my very first post? I was born in a Humane Society Shelter to a poor, abandoned mother. I contracted a lung infection immediately thereafter and was scheduled for euthanasia, but escaped a horrible death by choosing a human to be my pet. <br /><br />I think it was a good decision, although I was rather young at the time. It wasn't until later that I discovered my human had no pedigree, and by then I was too fond of the poor creature to send her away. Like every feline, I've dreamed of owning a Trump or a Hilton, but Lynn was easy to train and remains completely loyal and devoted to me.<br /><br />Today I'm blogging over at my human's weblog, <a href="http://pbackwriter.blogspot.com">Paperback Writer</a>. I hope you'll join me there.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6362797976594721281-5429145679303549878?l=tosaynothingofthecat.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Lynn Viehlnoreply@blogger.com3